Busy > Sex in Old Age: Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Bedroom
15th Mar 2024
Sex in Old Age

Sex in Old Age: Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Bedroom

Well, well, well… look who’s feeling a little frisky today! If the topic of sex in old age has piqued your curiosity (or made you blush just a little), you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’re going to dive deep into the realities of intimacy and pleasure for seniors, shattering myths and embracing the fact that yes, old people have sex – and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

So, pull up a comfy chair, grab a warm beverage (or something a bit stiffer, if you prefer), and let’s get real about getting busy in your golden years. We promise to keep things equal parts informative and entertaining.   

The Myths We Need to Destroy 

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty details, let’s address the elephant in the room. There are far too many misconceptions and taboos surrounding sex and age that we need to shatter once and for all. 

For starters, let’s please bury the idea that sexual desire and activity are only for the young and sprightly. Newsflash: human beings are sensual creatures by nature, regardless of the number of candles on their birthday cake. To assume that our elders have zero interest in physical intimacy is not only wildly inaccurate but also incredibly ageist. 

Similarly, we need to ditch the notion that sex after 60 (or any age, really) is somehow “gross” or “inappropriate.” Sexuality is a normal, healthy part of the human experience – one that should be celebrated at every stage of life. 

In fact, studies have shown that maintaining an active sex life can have tremendous physical and mental health benefits for older adults, reducing risks of certain conditions while boosting emotional well-being. 

So let’s all take a collective deep breath, open our minds, and prepare to embrace the fact that our cherished grandparents, great-aunts, and elderly neighbors could very well be getting it on behind closed doors. And you know what? More power to them! 

The Realities of Getting Busy After 60 

Now that we’ve dismantled some of the antiquated myths, let’s dig into the realities of sex and intimacy for the 60+ crowd. And spoiler alert: it might not look like the wild, acrobatic romps you see in movies, but it can still be immensely fulfilling (and let’s be real – less risk of throwing out your back). 

For many older adults, the frequency of sex after 60 may naturally start to decline due to a variety of factors like hormonal changes, chronic health conditions, and medication side effects. But here’s the thing: a decrease in frequency doesn’t have to mean a complete drought in the bedroom. 

With open communication, some creativity, and a willingness to adapt, couples can absolutely maintain a satisfying sex life well into their golden years. It might mean exploring different positions that are more comfortable for aging bodies, incorporating more foreplay and sensual massages, or even bringing some sex toys into the mix to enhance pleasure. 

Also Read: 12 Hacks To Spice Up Your Sex Life After the 50s

Speaking of pleasure, let’s talk about that big, beautiful elephant: orgasms. Yes, you can still achieve the big “O” in your later years – and in some cases, women may even find it easier to climax due to hormonal shifts. As for the fellas, while erectile dysfunction becomes more common with age, there are plenty of treatment options and workarounds to explore. 

The key, as with any healthy sex life, is maintaining open and shame-free communication with your partner. Voice your needs, concerns, and boundaries without fear of judgment. And don’t be afraid to get a little playful and experimental – after all, at this stage of the game, you’ve got plenty of life experience to draw from! 

Breaking the Taboo: Let’s Talk About It 

Despite all the progress we’ve made in recent years, sex in old age is still considered a bit of a taboo subject in many circles. And let’s be honest – even those of us who pride ourselves on being open-minded might feel a little weird broaching the topic of grandma’s bedroom activities.  

But here’s the thing: avoiding the conversation does far more harm than good. When we treat sex and intimacy for seniors as some big, shameful secret, we only perpetuate the stigma and make it harder for our elders to access important resources and information. 

It’s time to change the narrative and create a safe, judgment-free space for our elders to get the support, advice, and resources they need to maintain happy, healthy sex lives for as long as they desire. That could mean: 

  • Pushing for more sex education resources tailored specifically to elders 
  • Encouraging open, shame-free conversations about sex in nursing homes, senior living communities, and other care facilities  
  • Training healthcare providers to proactively discuss sexual health with their older patients 
  • Calling out ageist jokes, comments and attitudes that perpetuate the stigma 

Look, we get it – talking about grandpa’s libido might make you uncomfortable. But at the end of the day, this topic is about far more than just the nitty-gritty physical act. It’s about honoring our elders’ humanity, celebrating their right to experience intimacy and pleasure, and ensuring they have access to the care and resources they need. 

Tips for Couples to Enjoy Sex in Old Age 

While stereotypes may label older adults as asexual or uninterested in intimacy, the reality is that many continue to enjoy healthy sex lives well into their golden years. Here are some tips for elder couples to embrace this aspect of life: 

  • Communicate openly with your partner about desires and boundaries. Mutual understanding is key. 
  • Focus on outercourse and foreplay over penetration. Get creative with touch, massages, sex toys etc. 
  • Experiment with different positions for comfort. Pillows can provide support. 
  • Consult doctors if medical conditions impact sexual abilities. Medications or therapy may help. 
  • Schedule intimacy and set the mood – dim lights, flowers, music etc. Anticipation builds excitement. 
  • Stay physically active through yoga and exercise. Maintaining fitness boosts energy. 

With care, wisdom, and an open mind, loving couples can continue to experience immense pleasure and closeness in maturity. 

The Importance of Intimacy (Beyond Just Sex) 

On that note, let’s take a moment to acknowledge that sex and physical intimacy, while important, are just one small piece of the puzzle when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships in our later years. 

Emotional intimacy – that deep sense of connection, vulnerability, and bond with another person – is equally crucial, perhaps even more so as we age. After all, as our bodies and circumstances change, the ways we experience, and express intimacy will inevitably shift too. 

Must Read: The Kama Sutra for Golden Agers

For some older adults, that might mean finding new, non-sexual ways to experience physical closeness, like snuggling up together, holding hands, or exchanging gentle massages. For others, it could involve deeper emotional sharing, being emotionally vulnerable with their partner, or making more effort to keep the romance alive.   

And for those without a romantic partner, finding intimacy through close friendships, family connections, and community involvement becomes more vital.  

At the end of the day, we all crave intimacy and human connection, regardless of our age or relationship status. It’s an essential ingredient to living a full, joyful life – one that we should celebrate and prioritize at every stage. 

Your Pleasure, Your Rules 

Now that we’ve covered the realities, the myths, the taboos, and the importance of intimacy, I’ll leave you with one final, empowering thought: your pleasure and your sex life are yours to define, always. 

Despite what various stigmas, stereotypes or societal pressures might try to dictate, you alone get to decide what intimacy and fulfillment look like in your golden years. If you’re single and happily embracing a life of celibacy? More power to you!  

The point is, that there’s no “right” way to experience sex, intimacy, and pleasure as an older adult. It’s an intensely personal journey that will look different for every individual. So, tune out the noise, free yourself from shame and judgment, and give yourself permission to explore, experiment, and indulge in whatever brings you joy and contentment. 

At the end of the day, that’s what matters most: living authentically, unapologetically, and squeezing every drop of pleasure and connection out of this wild ride we call life. So go forth, embrace your desires (or lack thereof), and remember – when it comes to sex in old age, your body, your rules. Always. 

Know more about how Emoha Eldercare can help you and your loved ones in the golden phase of their life. Contact us now!