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being alone
By
Ms. Lakshmi Dayal

 

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how un-lonely being alone can be.- Ellen Burstyn.
 

Being alone need not be equivalent to being lonely. Though human-beings are social and interdependent by nature, yet it is almost essential to have “alone” time too. Welcome solitariness even if it has been thrust upon you due to circumstances. Being alone can be liberating; psychologically and spiritually healing and empowering. Spending time by yourself gives you the space to introspect, reflect and see things in the correct perspective. You can redefine the direction and nature of your life’s goals. Your self-confidence and sense of independence will increase and you will stop feeling anxious nor feel the need for other people’s company all the time.  Believe and trust that you are a unique individual, complete in yourself. 
 

Life is full of interactions and relationships of all kinds. When we are constantly surrounded by people, we spend a lot of energy in social obligations and often unproductive meetings. The pressure of trying to please everyone, of  having to live up to others’ expectations and being apologetic for small mistakes can drain you! While being alone, you don’t have to worry about offending anyone or having to cater to their emotional demands. In the noise of others’ chatter you lose touch with your own self  - unclutter your mind and remove all physical and emotional noise to make balanced, informed choices. Time alone is necessary for our brains to rest and recharge, revitalizing our mind and body. Whereas meditating in solitude, recharges us spiritually. 
 

People often seek validation from their peers for their actions or decisions. Though it is understandable to seek advice occasionally, go with your instinct and listen to your innermost voice for what is best for you. Avoid comparing yourself or your social life to others. If you are content with your lifestyle of few friends or outings, preferring to be by yourself, then be assured it is perfectly fine. People with busy social lives are not necessarily happy. Nor should you stress about the social-media yardstick of popularity-it is not always true and certainly no reflection on you. It does not imply that you are anti-social or friendless, but that you simply enjoy being alone! So, learn to self -partner. Do not feel compelled to rush into a relationship only to escape being alone. Ensure that the emotions are mutually authentic, with depth – based on trust and integrity.
 

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not – the worst thing is ending up with a person who makes you feel all alone!”.- Robin Williams.


Workwise too, you are better able to concentrate and focus without frequent distractions and interruptions. Considerably increasing your productivity and quality in the bargain. Current studies reveal that people are more likely to come up with their best ideas when alone, by themselves – rather than during group brainstorming sessions. Creative persons particularly, are sensitive to negative criticism, which is why so many of us tend to think differently and innovatively when alone. The best part is that almost everyone possesses unique talents and capacities – unleash your potential!


Throughout History, exceptionally  gifted  people  have, in isolation, created masterpieces in Art, Literature, Music and Sculpture. They substituted close relationships and sense of community into deeply focused and passionate outpouring of creativity. They found fulfillment in loneliness and harnessed it admirably. The enriching solitude became a springboard for genius to bloom!  Certainly, they were supremely talented Masters, but all of us too can be creative with myriad ideas which can be personally satisfying as well as cater to society.


“A period of isolation and loneliness is when the caterpillar gets it’s wings – remember that next time you feel lonely.”


Last but not the least, revisit our ancient spiritual philosophy, which advocates the dictum of “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakkam” – the whole world is one family. All souls are ultimately interconnected. Be aware and mindful – let your heart be filled with joy and empathy for all living beings!


“Moonlight floods the whole sky from horizon to horizon – how much it can fill your room depends on its windows.” Rumi.

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